


The Sun, The Moon and The Truth

by poramarte



Series: Solar Wind [2]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alpha Mark Lee (NCT), Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - Avatar & Benders Setting, Angst, Arranged Marriage, Domestic Violence, Firebender Mark Lee, Implied Mpreg, Inappropriate Use of Bending (Avatar), Inspired by Avatar: The Last Airbender, M/M, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Not Beta Read, Omega Lee Donghyuck | Haechan, Past Miscarriage, Power Imbalance, Water Tribe Lee Donghyuck | Haechan
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-13
Updated: 2021-02-13
Packaged: 2021-03-12 10:41:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,225
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28634154
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/poramarte/pseuds/poramarte
Summary: Life plans were overrated.Things happened, plans changed, people changed and to revolve his life around thoughtless expectations was something he knew he no longer could do.Love was overrated.With love, there was always heartbreak and what was the point of setting himself up for misery?
Relationships: Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee
Series: Solar Wind [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2017609
Comments: 35
Kudos: 189





	1. Beginnings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!
> 
> This is the (hopefully) long-awaited second installment of my series 'Solar Wind' (name may be subject to change). If you are new here, you may want to read the first part of this, since you will be missing a big chunk of background information if you don't. 
> 
> I have two surprises, really its a two for one, lol. I have made a drawing of Donghyuck from 'Sun Eclipsing the Moon' and since I needed a place to post it, I have posted it on twitter which is the second surprise, lol. Disclaimer, I am not the best artist, but I did want to share my artwork in case some of you were curious, lol. You can find it [here.](https://twitter.com/_Poramarte/status/1349175616441118729)
> 
> Happy Reading!

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Johnny asked.

They had been scoundering the Earth Kingdom looking for an herb that Johnny said would permanently dye his hair. Which had proven to be quite difficult to find without actually knowing what the plant looked like or its name. But a run in with a helpful yet skeptical local had resulted in the local selling them the dye, but not before convincing Johnny to buy a dye that would turn Johnny’s hair brown. 

He didn’t hate his hair, although he had grown up hating its significance. When he was young, he had begged his mom to let him cut his hair off, at least to his shoulders, like the alphas and betas of pack, but his mom said short hair wasn’t fit for an omega of his status. Omegas weren't supposed to cut their hair because long hair was the standard of beauty for them and his mom would never let him do something that would raise questions and garner looks.

So he compromised, he kept it long, but not too long and always pulled up out of his face and out of his sight, his mom had never liked the simplicity of his hairstyles when he lived in the North Pole. He was sure she would have loved to see the styles Yuna used to come up with, they were more _fitting_ for royalty.

“You, yourself said that I wouldn’t be able to hide if someone so much as saw a single strand of my hair. I need to dye it, ” he replied. Johnny gave him a slight nod, but Johnny’s eyelids fluttered like he was still thinking it over.

“You could just shave your head like the Air Nomads,” Jisung offered and he scoffed at the younger, Jisung’s head wasn’t even shaved.

“My eyebrows are also white Jisung, I’d have to shave those off too, and I’m not completely willing to do that, yet,” he said and Jisung gave him a devilish smile that he had grown accustomed to and he just knew Jisung was going to say something crass. 

“You’re right! You’d look super ugly!” Jisung teased. Comments like those made him regret ever allowing Jisung to come with them. They should have just stolen the boys bison, it wouldn’t have technically been stealing, since she was after all his bison too. He liked the kid most of the time, Jisung was a good kid, but Jisung had a tendency to say things that angered him and he had never known himself to be someone that got angry quickly but Jisung just had that talent.

“Thanks Jisung,” he said through gritted teeth, having the urge to hit Jisung upside the head.

“I think you’d look great!” Johnny offered up. Johnny was taking this all well. While Johnny had offered to come with him, he had expected Johnny to be more conflicted about it. They had run away from their country and while Johnny's disappearance might be easier to explain, his wasn’t. It wouldn’t take a genius to put two and two together and well, they couldn’t be sure what Mark was even saying about the situation. What was there to even say? There were few excuses that Mark could make to explain his absence.

“Thank you Johnny,” he offered Johnny a smile and Johnny looked away, eyes landing on the bag the hair dye powder was in.

“We should dye your hair soon, we want to do it while there is still light out,” Johnny replied while looking up at the sky and he looked too, the sun was starting to set and it would be harder to see what they were doing if they waited any longer.

“Don’t do it in the tent, I don’t want to sleep with the smell of your herb’s in the tent.” Jisung said.

“You’re such a drama queen,” he rolled his eyes. “You don’t even sleep in the tent.”

“I don’t sleep in the tent because _‘Your Highness’_ can’t sleep on the ground,” Jisung said sticking out his tongue. 

“I never said that,” he said, sticking his ground and Jisungs scrunched his nose up at him.

“Stop fighting!” Johnny said with a tired expression. “Jisung, you’re helping . We have to do this right, our lives depend on it.”

Their lives did depend on his ability to blend in, especially if rumors ever did reach the Earth Kingdom that he had run from the Fire Nation. The Earth Kingdom wouldn’t just let him be, especially when holding him hostage would tilt things in favor of the Earth Kingdom. He would become a bargaining chip. 

“I totally did not sign up for this,” Jisung grumbled, while grabbing the mixing bowl that Johnny was holding out to him. 

The dye was a lot more difficult to make then the locals made it seem and they were left unsure if the consistency was ‘pasty’ enough. They mixed it until it seemed good enough and they didn’t think they would be able to get any better. They applied it as best as they could.

“I can’t believe we’re gonna have to do that again for your hair Johnny,” Jisung complained.

“We have to wait to see how it works out for His Highness, if it lasts then we’ll do mine,” Johnny replied and Jisung nodded. 

“I told you not to call me that Johnny,” he commented and Johnny gave him a weak smile

“It feels wrong not to,” Johnny replied and he understood. To Johnny, he was a Prince, a Consort and to refer to him as otherwise must have been against everything Johnny had learned.

“Maybe, but we’re not strangers anymore, I don’t want my friends using such formalities, Jisung doesn’t” he pointed out and Jisung nodded in agreement.

“That’s because Jisung is a brat,” Johnny teased and Jisung made a shocked expression that they both laughed at.

“Hey,” Jisung protested.

“It’s true, I thought air nomads were supposed to be nice,” Johnny commented. He wasn’t really sure if that was true, he had only ever met another Air Nomad and she wasn’t mean, but he wouldn’t describe Nayeon as nice. If anything he would describe her as a free spirit.

“Stop stereotyping my people,” Jisung grumbled. “Donghyuck hyung had a point though, you shouldn’t call him that. Maybe we should give him a different name, if anyone hears his name, they might recognize him.”

“You think I should change my name?” He mused. It was something he hadn’t thought about, although it was something he should have recognized. His name was also an identifier and he would need a cover for when they met people because it was possible they would potentially recognize his name and while there was a possibility that there was another Donghyuck in the Earth Kingdom, it was unlikely.

“Yeah, Jisung and Johnny aren’t uncommon, but nobody would dare to name their kid after royalty, even if they're from a different nation,” Jisung pointed out. “Unless they didn’t know of course, but it would raise suspicions.”

“Okay” he said slowly, looking up at the pair. “Do you have any suggestions?

“How about Minki?” Jisung offered and his breath quivered faintly at the name and he was sure at least Johnny noticed.

“That’s way too similar to _his_ name,” he muttered, suddenly feeling in a bad mood, they didn’t need to be told explicitly who ‘he’ was, they all knew. It was a sensitive topic, he hadn’t been able to say Mark’s name out loud, and although the burns on his arm were healing well, they all knew they would scar even despite Johnny’s efforts to heal them.

“Taeil?” Johnny suggested.

“I have a cousin named Taeil,” Jisung replied and they all pondered. 

A name was a big deal and although he already had one, deciding on what he would like to be called seemed difficult even if he could always just pick a new code name if he decided he didn’t like it. But changing a part of himself made his situation feel more real, like he was closing a chapter in his life, one that he still didn’t know if he wanted to revisit.

“How about Haechan?” Johnny asked, springing up from the tree trunk he had been leaning on.

“I’m from the Water Tribe,” he commented. It was not that he didn’t like it, but it didn’t seem to fit.

“I know, that's why I like it, it kind of feels like an oxymoron, you know. You’re blessed by the moon but instead of something like Manwol, you’re full sun, Haechan.”

“I agree with Johnny, I like Haechan,”Jisung said, also sounding equally enthusiastic and he didn’t have the heart to say no to them.

“Okay…” It came out a bit reluctant even though he had tried to mask. And Jisung and Johnny made the same face.

“You don't like it?” Johnny questioned. “You know you can say you don’t like it if you don’t. We’ll think of something else.”

“It’s not that I don’t, but it's all feeling like a lot.”

“Hey, I get it,” Jisung offered. “This isn’t the life you imagine, none of it was. I can’t imagine what you’re going through, but Johnny and I are here for you. I know we’ve only known each other for like a week, but I’d like to think we’re like family now.”

He appreciated the statement. It offered clarity. It was easy to think that they both loathed him, after all they all now had a constant fear of being caught. He feared Johnny would be executed for treason and he feared what could happen to Jisung. Jisung wasn’t a Fire Nation citizen and didn't technically do anything wrong, but he feared the Fire Nation wouldn’t see it that way.

“We are. We’re family now.” He offered his hand to both of them and they took them. And as cheesy as it was they held hands under the moonlight of the Earth Kingdom.

And for once he felt at home.

\---

“Are you up for a healing session today?” Johnny asked over breakfast. 

Johnny had constructed a makeshift spear out of a tree branch and had gone fishing early in the morning in the nearby river. Johnny had come back before he woke up and he had been surprised when he walked out of the tent to find the pile of fish that Johnny had caught and Johnny had just shrugged when he mentioned it.

“Sure,” he breathed out. It wasn’t exactly that he didn’t want to, but the healing sessions always hurt like hell and it was not something he liked to willingly subject himself to, but he knew the sessions sped up the healing time and reduced his chances of getting an infection, especially since they literally slept in the wilderness.

“We can always skip a day if it's too much,” Johnny offered.

“It’s okay,” he replied. “I don’t want to make a habit of skipping sessions. The faster I heal the better.”

They all fell into a comfortable silence as they ate. Jisung was a vegetarian and had kindly declined Johnny's fish and usually went off on his own to procure his own food even though they had offered to go with him. He felt like he should insist the next time that the airbender decided to go off alone, it wasn’t safe for them to be out alone; he didn’t want anything bad to happen to the younger.

“When do you want to start waterbending lessons?” Jisung asked. Jisung always finished first for some reason and the boy looked like he was going to get up soon. “Because I have an idea if you’re up to it before or after your healing session.

“What’s your idea?” He asked, looking over at the younger.

“You can wash your hair out, you know, using your bending,” Jisung offered. “Only if it doesn’t hurt too much to move your wrists.”

“It hurts,” he answered honestly. “But I can’t just wait until my arm doesn’t hurt anymore to start learning again. I need to know how to defend myself, just in case.”

“Great!” Jisung exclaimed. “We can start whenever you want, just don’t touch your hair, that's very critical.” 

“We should do it before my healing session, they tend to make me tired,” he suggested.

“Okay,” Jisung twirled off the floor, lightly blasting them with wind as he did so and Jisung gave them an awkward smile when he realized. “Wait for me here, I’m going to go gather some materials.”

Jisung ran off with a dust cloud trailing behind him. And He and Johnny were left in an awkward silence. They were awkward with each other in general, for different reasons, but Jisung always knew how to lighten the mood. Whenever it was just the two of them he felt shy around the older and Johnny seemed to struggle with erasing the line that had been previously set between the two.

It was hard to converse with Johnny because despite trusting the older with his life and vice versa, they didn’t know much about each other and he didn’t even know what would be a good conversation to have with Johnny. He could ask about basic things like pets, but small talk was just awkward in general and he didn’t want to make things weirder than they already were.

He finished his food quickly and excused himself before getting up to leave.

“Your Hi- Haechan,” Johnny called after him. It took him a split second longer to recognize the name, but when he did, he stopped in tracks and looked down at the older. “You know you don’t have to learn to bend if you don’t want to, right? You have me and Jisung.”

“I know Johnny,” he replied quietly. “It’s just that, I’ve never had the opportunity to learn and I want to.”

“Okay,” Johnny nodded. “If you decide you don’t like it, you can always tell us.”

“I know,” he said, mimicking Johnny's nod.

\---

Jisung had come back with a few buckets of water and a stick. While he wanted to ask where the younger had gotten the buckets from, hoping he hadn’t actually gone out and bought them, but the alternative was any good either because he doubted Jisung had random stashes of buckets laying around the Earth Kingdom. He knew it was better not to ask questions when he wouldn’t be able to do anything about the answer and Jisung wouldn’t listen to any of his complaints. He’d leave it to Johnny to comment on it later.

Jisung had told him to stand with feet in the water and he had thought that they would be doing something in the river but instead Jisung was leading him through a breathing exercise. He wanted to complain, he really did, but Jisung was doing him a favor and it wasn’t like he had any better options to teach him.

“Breathe out,” Jisung said. “Okay, last one. Breathe in.”

He did so, even though he sort of felt like Jisung was pulling his limbs with the whole breathing exercises.

“Breathe out,” Jisung said again. “Okay good job. Now we’re gonna move on.”

He nodded at Jisung and he turned to face the younger to wait for instructions.

“I want you to close your eyes and imagine yourself bending,” Jisung guided. “It can be something simple or something that you’ve seen one of your brothers or friends do.”

He imagined himself as Mingyu, as one with the water. It was easy to picture the image when he had spent secretly and not so secretly watching his brothers bend for entertainment. Mingyu had always been his favorite to watch because Mingyu had never been aggressive for the sake of being aggressive, unlike how most alphas tended to be, but because Mingyu knew that being aggressive wasn’t the only way to win a fight.

“How do you imagine you’d feel?” Jisung asked him and his eyes fluttered slightly, the water briefly coming into sight. “I know it's weird, just think about it.”

He’d always imagined Mingyu to feel at peace, almost mindless even though he knew waterbenders were taught to be warriors and that bending was a weapon and he knew peace probably shouldn’t have been what Mingyu should have been feeling. But he couldn’t imagine Mingyu feeling any other way.

“At peace,” he muttered and Jisung hummed in response.

“Open your eyes,” Jisung said and he followed when he was ready to. Jisungs eyes seemed to look him over, like he was trying to read his mind. “I want you to hold on to that, I want you to remember that bending doesn’t have to be bad, bending can be beautiful and peaceful. Bending is what you want to make out of it, not what others want you to, Haechan.”

He nodded, swallowing the lump that had started to form in his throat at Jisungs words. He wasn’t really sure why the words had affected him so much or why it felt like something that he needed to hear and remember but he did.

“Okay now, enough of that,” Jisung changed the subject and instructed,“Stream the water.” 

It was no longer as difficult as it had been the first time he had tried with Mark, but he still needed to concentrate to be able to do it. It felt unnatural almost. He was inexperienced and it had been a while since he had had a lesson.

“Good,” Jisung praised. “I was thinking you fill the buckets with water and we wash your hair by the clearing we saw yesterday. I don’t want to contaminate the water supply.” 

He filled the buckets and Jisung picked them up, they walked toward the clearing and Jisung set down the buckets.

“Alright stream the water and let it flow through your hair, but don’t let the water fall.” He looked at Jisung questionably. “It’ll teach you control and focus.”

He did as he was told and Jisung watched him meticulously. It was harder to let his hair soak in the water than he thought. Jisung told him to move the water around and occasionally water droplets would get on his skin and Jisung would instruct him to focus. 

“Alright that water is now dirty. Drop it in the dirt and do the same thing again with clean water,” Jisung told him. Washing his hair took longer than it would have if they had just washed his hair in the river, they had to go back to get more water and Johnny had helped carry the buckets back to the clearing after he had seen them come back to the campsite Johnny stayed and they were both now criticizing his technique.

He let out a huff, _what did a firebender and airbender know about waterbending._

He didn’t voice his annoyance outloud but he was sure that Jisung caught on to it eventually and the younger seemed to be entertained by it.

“The water looked clean on that last one, but do it one last time for good measures,” Jisung instructed.

He followed Jisung’s orders and did it again. And once he felt like he had soaked his hair for long enough and efficiently he dropped it in the dirt and waited for further instructions. 

“Good job,” Jisung told him. “You didn’t get a single droplet on yourself that time.”

He impulsively looked at his arms and at his clothes and realized that Jisung was right, he hadn’t gotten water on himself and he smiled at the realization.

“What was different that time?” Jisung asked, with an obnoxiously knowing smile.

“I got the hang of it?” He guessed and Jisung's smile grew impossibly bigger.

“Yeah, but you also weren’t thinking about it as much, you trusted yourself,” Johnny offered and he nodded.

“Johnny's right, but it wasn’t what I was getting at,” Jisung said. “Think about it and let me know what you come up with.”

\---

“We don’t have to do this if you’re not up to it,” Johnny told him.

His arm had hurt more than usual after the waterbending lesson. He had previously been limiting his arm movements and had barely used his wrist and even though it had only been a week, his range of motion had seemed to have become limited. The lesson had only served as a reminder of how limited he actually was. He was lucky his dominant arm was the one that had been injured, but it didn’t stop the pain from throbbing when he had come down from the adrenaline that waterbending always seemed to produce in him.

“You say that alot,” he commented. “ _He_ used to say that a lot.”

“I can stop if it makes you uncomfortable,” Johnny offered this time and it made him smile because it was exactly something Mark would have said.

“It's okay,” he murmured. "They're just words, no need to get hung up on them." 

He knew it wasn't the right thing to say. It wasn't a fair thing to say when Johnny was trying and he needed to be more considerate. He needed to talk about what happened, he owed it to Johnny, but he also knew that Johnny wouldn't rush him and today was not the day that he would lay his feelings and emotions down for Johnny to see. Maybe someday he would, maybe that someday was tomorrow, but he knew he needed to.

“I’m fine to do the healing,” he continued. 

"Okay." Johnny stretched his hand out to him and he slowly placed his arm in Johnny's palm. Johnny's grip tightened slightly and Johnny warned, "This is gonna hurt." 

And it did.

The pain seemed to get worse with each session and he wasn’t sure if it was because it actually did hurt worse or if it was because he anticipated the pain, he knew what it felt like and yet he didn’t know because it felt like the first time every single time. It felt like he was back in the corridors of the palace and Johnny had grabbed his hand for the first time and he had been confused before he felt pure agony. 

But now he tried to last as long as he could because unlike the first time, he now knew that although Johnny was intentionally hurting him, this pain was meant to heal him.

“Stop,” he whimpered out when he couldn’t take it anymore and Johnny let go quickly.

“I’m sorry,” Johnny apologized just like he did each time and he smiled like he had each time after the first.

“It’s not your fault,” he offered, leaning back against the trunk of the tree that they were currently sitting under. “I think I’m going to go lay down in the tent a bit.”

“Take your time,” Johnny encouraged. “Come out whenever you’re ready. We can always decide where we're going next tomorrow, if you’re not up for it today.”

One of the first things they had agreed on was to always keep moving, to not stay stagnant in one place for precautionary measures. They had been camped in the same spot for two days now and while it was a good spot, being by fresh water was always best, it wasn’t exactly the best idea to stay here much longer.

“I will.”

Johnny pushed off the ground and turned towards him. Johnny offered him a hand and he took it without hesitation and Johnny helped him up.

“Your hair looks nice, by the way,” Johnny expressed and he grinned to himself mostly. Johnny was walking ahead of him and the older wouldn’t be able to see it.

“You guys did a nice job,” he complimented even though he hadn’t actually seen what he looked like now. He had only caught a few glances of his reflection in the river. But his hair hadn’t been dry or styled then and it wasn’t like what he had seen had been an accurate representation of the finished product. 

“We did,” Johnny laughed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for reading!


	2. In Your Eyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Do you want to talk about it?” Johnny asked, delicately almost, but Johnny was bold, prying almost, he reminded him of what he always imagined Renjun to be like if Renjun had been born an alpha.
> 
> “About what?” He asked. While there were ample things that he could talk about with Johnny, he also knew Johnny wouldn’t explicitly imply to talk about any of them, Johnny had always left room for him to deny.
> 
> “Whatever’s keeping you up,” Johnny offered up and he measured the offer carefully.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!
> 
> So I'm back after exactly a month (, unintentionally). I wanted to thank everyone for the support in the last chapter, I wasn't sure how changing from one previous part to this one would work out, but it seemed to work pretty well, so thank's everyone!
> 
> I finally added a chapter summary, for like the first time in forever, so yay to me.! This chapter is a bit different from most, the first half is kind of like a reflection, it's all just one scene, but I split it up into two. I'll keep the a/n short so;
> 
> Happy Reading!

When he was little, he had an omega friend, Chaeyeon, who had been a waterbender.

She was the daughter of two healers and he had met her by chance, or so he was told. He didn’t remember meeting her, being too young, barely one and when he was old enough to ask questions, he knew better than to. 

He hadn’t known she was a waterbender until they were six, at an age where most alphas were being encouraged to try to see if they could bend, but they weren’t alphas. It was an age where it was already instilled in omegas not to bend, that it was bad, that if they did bend, bad things would happen to them. And while it was a double standard that really shouldn’t have existed, it was a clear warning. 

They had been playing outside in the snow on a rare occasion that the guards hadn’t gotten the chance to clear it from the Ice Garden immediately after it had fallen. She had thrown a ball of snow at him without touching it and they had all stopped the second they had realized what had happened. She had paled significantly as even the snowflakes seemed to have become paralyzed in fear and he remembers feeling scared, not of her, but for her because he knew even then that if anyone found out, well it wouldn't be good. 

Entire families disappeared with no explanations, but things were just like that. Nobody said anything and it was mutually understood not to mention it if your classmate just stopped coming to class and you never heard about them again.

It had been a secret between them. Nobody found out, at least not then and they didn’t talk about it ever, not even at the moment. Renjun had just silently gone back to playing and they all moved on, but his heart had beaten loudly in his chest the whole day and he was sure that Chaeyeon had been scared because while they were friends, he was also a member of the Royal family. He was someone that logically should have reported her to the Chief, but he didn’t, but she couldn’t know that he wouldn’t for sure.

He now imagined the fear she probably felt, when they would hang out during recess or after school. He wondered if she told her family, if she had even known she was a waterbender before that instant. He wondered, what does one even do with the information that you’re a waterbender and you’re not _supposed_ to be one, you’re not _allowed_ to be one. 

It was remarkable really, that she could bend snow of all things, at an age where most alphas had trouble even bending water, which was allegedly easier to bend. If she had been an alpha she would have been the talk of the town and her family would have something to brag about and rightfully so, but instead, it was just a dangerous secret.

When she disappeared a few months later and her sister had shown up crying to school, nobody talked about it. Nobody offered to comfort her sister because comforting her would imply that they recognized that her sister had existed in the first place.

After Chaeyeon's disappearance, he had never been left out of the guards' sight. He had always been watched before but never like this. He used to only be watched when he was outside of the palace, for his ‘safety’, but afterward, it was even when he was in the palace and he was only left alone when he was in his room, but the catch was that he couldn’t lock the door.

He had later realized when he was older, that it had been out of fear that his father had heightened his security because he had been friends with Chaeyeon since he could walk and if she could waterbending, there was a chance that she had encouraged him to, as well. So his dad made sure there wasn’t any chance that he could practice, that if he had learned anything, the little he knew, he would be forced to forget with time.

It was said in the Northern Water Tribe that an omega bending brought shame onto a family.

If an omega was mated, it meant that the omega’s family had failed to find a proper alpha for their child and it meant that the alphas family had failed to raise an alpha that could protect their mate. Bending was seen as a curse in an omega, that the omega would be seen as undesirable as a barren omega if it was ever known that they could bend.

But while it was believed to be shameful for an omega to bend, for most of his life it hadn’t been outlawed. Renjun had always said it was because it would solidify the oppressiveness of their tribe in paper and maybe Renjun had been right because even when it had become officially a crime for an omega to bend, it never was written in their codes. It would be called a different thing when omegas were brought to trial because while no one ever left the Northern Water Tribe, whispers were hard to stop from traveling even when they had to cross an ocean to get anywhere else. 

The only good he found in the law was that omegas no longer disappeared, instead, they stood trial, and in a way it was worse as well because being tried publicly allowed the omega to be open to the ridicule of the pack and even if they were let off, the omega still wore an invisible brand that let them all know that nobody should talk to them if they knew what was best for them. 

He thought about Chaeyeon a lot. He wondered how she had even gotten caught, if waterbending was even the reason she had disappeared, but what else could a six-year-old have done that would have caused the council to do something about it.

After the slip up with them, he had never seen her bend again, at times he feels like he could chalk it up to having an overactive imagination. But then he remembered her fear-stricken face and he remembered that it had been real. He remembered how Chaeryeong, Chaeyeon’s sister, refused to bend despite being dubbed a prodigy by the Council of Elders, and up until the day he left, she still wouldn’t bend.

He wondered if she blamed him, if she believed that he had been the one to turn her in. He wondered if Chaeyeon was even still alive because he had been in their prison and he had never seen her before, he had never seen an omega in prison and he wondered where she could have possibly been held, where the rest of the people that disappeared were being held.

But while he thought about her a lot, he never talked about her, even with Renjun, because he had always been in constant fear that Renjun could be next, but not because Renjun could be a bender, but because the Council had never liked their relationship. They deemed it inappropriate and maybe it was, but the Council shouldn’t have gotten a say in it or had the ability to do something about it if they wanted to.

If he talked about Chaeyeon, it made her real. It would make his fears real, that omegas could disappear and alphas of the Tribe could do Tui knows what with them and nobody batted an eyelash.

After Chaeyeon disappeared, he didn’t form deep bonds. He never let himself get too close to a friend because in a way he felt like what happened with Chaeyeon was partially his fault. Chaeyeon’s family had been nobodies in the pack, were still nobodies and her being friends with him had casted unnecessary eyes in her direction.

The first person he had been close with after her had been Mark. He and Mark had been close in an almost shallow way, but even that made sense when he thought about it.

In hindsight, his perspective of how close they were was skewed because while he believed that he loved Mark and Mark loved him, they didn’t know each other’s deepest darkest secrets. The truth was that Renjun was the only person that had known his deepest darkest secrets, but now that wasn’t even true anymore and he didn’t even know what to make of that either. 

Talking had never been his strong suit, it had always been Renjun who would pry information out of him. He knew bottling things and holding them in until he felt like he couldn’t breathe anymore, wasn’t good for him and especially not when he thought about them all the time even though he didn’t want to. 

\--

“Hey,” Johnny said, startling him. “Do you want some company?”

Company was good. He felt so alone often despite knowing he wasn’t. He could open up to Johnny, or even Jisung, both already knowing more about him than most of his ‘friends’ did, but he also didn’t want to make this harder for them than it already was.

“Sure,” he replied and Johnny sat down on the log, too. They sat in silence at first, conversation still rough between them when they didn’t have a purpose behind one and he wasn’t certain if Johnny had an interest to improve that aspect of their relationship.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Johnny asked, delicately almost, but Johnny was bold, prying almost, he reminded him of what he always imagined Renjun to be like if Renjun had been born an alpha. 

“About what?” He asked. While there were ample things that he could talk about with Johnny, he also knew Johnny wouldn’t explicitly imply to talk about any of them, Johnny had always left room for him to deny.

“Whatever’s keeping you up,” Johnny offered up and he measured the offer carefully.

If he felt like being petty he could mention that Johnny wasn’t doing much sleeping either. He could see the light of the lantern still coming from Johnny’s tent at night when his eyes finally began to feel tired and his mind couldn’t think properly anymore. That was usually well into the night, sometimes when the first glimpses of dawn began to gimmer through the starry night and Johnny's flame was still present, glowing dimly through the layers of fabric separating them.

But he didn’t feel petty and instead he was just confused. Was he ready to talk about it? Was he ready to open up about his life, his life before he even met Mark? His problems didn’t all lie in Mark, it would be silly to think so. The truth was he couldn’t sleep long before he could even remember the first time he heard Mark’s name uttered in passing by King Heechul.

“Can you tell me a story?” He decided on and it felt like he was avoiding the question and maybe he was, but he didn’t know the correct answer anyways.

“About?” Johnny asked.

“Him.” And it went without saying who _him_ was but it didn’t stop Johnny from giving him a puzzled look and he understood the unvoiced question. “Something nice.”

He saw the judgment in Johnny’s eyes, the inclination to say no, maybe even the words for _‘your own good’_ on the tip of Johnny’s tongue. It was weird, a weird request, especially when he couldn’t even say Mark's name out loud, he didn’t know if it would even be beneficial to hear good things about Mark. Intuitively it felt counterproductive and he was sure Johnny thought so too.

But their problems ran deeper than the little a nice story about Mark could fix. His arm wouldn’t magically heal from a nice story and that was only the physical representation of what Mark had done, how Mark had made him feel and Johnny knew that too.

“Are you sure?” Johnny asked and he nodded, not able to meet Johnny’s eyes again because he was scared that Johnny would see right through him. “His mom used to have a watermelon field on Ember Island before she died. I think it's still there but he hasn’t gone there since, so I can’t be sure. Her family were noblemen, but they preferred to live a humble life and they were farmers. She grew up working the fields with her parents and siblings and I think that's why Lord Leeteuk really liked her, she was different from a lot of the omegas in the crater. 

“We used to go out to her fields a few months out of the year when we were little and we’d help her family with the harvest. I think that's where he got his love for watermelons because she would always promise us all the watermelon we could eat. I wasn’t particularly fond of the fruit so I never ate more than a few slices, but he would probably eat twenty, maybe more every time we went.

“Jungwoo tagged along sometimes too, but Jungwoo never liked physical labor and he would instead hang out with some alphas on the beach every chance he got.”

“Everyone knew, even back then?” He asked, but Johnny didn’t look like he was following so he continued, “That he liked alphas.”

It wasn’t his place, he knew that because he knew he wouldn’t have been able to ask Jungwoo that question, and he didn’t know why he was asking Johnny when he knew it could be a potentially awkward question for him as well. He knew he shouldn’t be asking, especially not when Johnny and Jungwoo acted so weirdly around each other, but he did and Johnny looked like he truly didn’t want to answer.

“It’s complicated,” Johnny replied. “He never really came out. It was always a part of him that he was unapologetic about and it's not that everyone knew, but it's just that he never felt like he needed to hide it.”

He left it at that and they fell quiet, the sound of crickets in the background and if he listened closely enough he could hear Yisa’s odd heavy breathing, which he suspected was what a snore sounded like from a sky bison, but he hadn’t gotten around to asking Jisung yet.

It was always chilly at night in the Earth Kingdom, which took some getting used to when he had grown accustomed to the humidity of the Fire Nation and the nights weren’t any less humid. At times he wished he had brought his furs although he knew it would have been overkill to do so and he would probably be sweating right now if wore them. They would have been too much of a hassle anyway. They would have had to waste time and money to look for a dye because wearing red in the Earth Kingdom was like asking for attention.

He could gather firewood and figure out how to start a fire, but he hadn’t been able to directly look at fire since they left and he doubted he would be able to start one himself. He could ask Johnny to do it, but that also meant vocalizing it and he knew his voice would shake and although Johnny usually indulged him when he did questionable things, he wasn’t sure if Johnny would indulge him this time.

“Can you light a fire?” He asked once he worked up the courage. It came out jumbled and he felt like Johnny hadn’t heard him properly when Johnny didn’t respond in an appropriate time period, but then Johnny shifted and he knew that meant that Johnny was thinking it over. If Johnny was entertaining the idea, then he knew it was likely Johnny would end up doing it and he wasn’t sure if that made him happy or frightened him, probably somewhere in between.

“Are you sure?” He wasn’t sure, the thought of watching the flames dance to life and the wood crackling and the sparks floating through the air made his skin crawl. The idea of sitting close enough to the fire that he would be able to feel its warmth made his heartbeat quicken and his body begin to shake in fear. 

“It’s okay if you’re not ready, it doesn’t make you any less strong or brave. We don’t have a reason to rush and frankly rushing will only make things worse,” Johnny assured. Johnny placed his hand on top of his. He tensed at the touch and he had to stop himself from ripping his hand out of the embrace. “Is this too much?”

 _Yes,_ he wanted to reply. It felt like he was scared of everything now and it made him feel pathetic that a gesture that was meant to be comforting triggered him. 

“Warn me next time,” he replied instead. “I’m not sure if I’m ready, but I can’t be afraid forever.”

It wasn’t what Johnny was looking for and frankly, it wasn’t what he was looking for either, but it was the reality, he couldn’t have paralyzing fears, not when the wrong person could exploit them.

“How about this, I’ll light my lantern and we’ll go from there,” Johnny suggested. 

It was a start, much less invasive. Oil wouldn’t react the same way and it would be much smaller. It was a good suggestion and he ended up agreeing.

Johnny reached to his side and held the lantern in one hand.“Tell me when you’re ready.” 

He felt stuck, unable to tell Johnny to do it and it was _embarrassing_ that he couldn’t even bring himself to agree. That the thought of Johnny firebending to turn the lantern on petrified him.

“Haechan, it’s okay,” Johnny soothed. “I mean it, there's no rush.”

“I can’t.” His voice shook and it was then that he realized he was crying and it made him feel helpless and dumb. He tugged on his sleeve and he brought it up to his face, wiping away the tears and he a choked sob escaped from his lips. “I’m so stupid.”

“You’re not.” Johnny sighed. “It’s normal to be scared after something bad happened to you, you’re not stupid for having feelings out of all things.”

“I know.” But that was the problem because although he knew deep down his reaction was justified, he had also been brought up on the idea that strong emotions weren’t to be shared, to keep them in. To be so vulnerable around Johnny, no matter how much he trusted the older, didn’t feel right, pathetic almost. He had been vulnerable in front of Mark and Mark had used it to his advantage in the end, but yet he was doing it again, being vulnerable in front of another alpha.

“We can try again a different time, it doesn’t have to be now,” Johnny assured him and he sighed, knowing that it probably wasn’t wise to try again tonight anyways.

“Tomorrow?” Johnny hesitated at his request and he knew Johnny wanted to say no, but he also knew Johnny and the alpha rarely said no.

“If you’re up for it,” Johnny settled on.

“Okay.” He wasn’t sure if he’d be ready, but he knew he wanted to try.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys liked the chapter. Honestly, if I had done the planning I said I would before starting, this chapter should have probably been the first one. I will probably do the planning before the next chapter and maybe put an estimate of how many chapters I expect to have, but I've never done that before and I did end up having my projected amount of chapter in the last part, but I don't want to jinx my luck.
> 
> As of this chapter, you have enough information to make an educated guess (a hypothesis, if you will) on where you think this story will go. I won't confirm nor deny anything, but you'll get bragging rights in the future if you get it right, lol. So let me know what you think.
> 
> Thank you all for reading, please consider leaving a comment or kudos if you liked it!

**Author's Note:**

> [curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/poramarte)   
>  [twitter](https://twitter.com/_poramarte)


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